The Wise One or The Fool?

Over the years, many things happened in my life. Like most people, these things help to nurture me and make me grow into what I am today. I may have matured from things that have happened to me, yet I still feel that I'm still like a child in many ways.

I like to observe. One of the traits that allows me to understand people. It also allows me to be able to notice things that go out of the ordinary. This skill somehow allowed me to be more sensitive to people around me, knowing what to do when certain things go wrong; or reacting the correct way when people have some emotional troubles.

Observing also allowed me to learn valuable experiences that I might not experience in my life. Having talks with people who like to share their life experiences will prove to be more useful than it seems.

Knowing so much made me wise, but knowing too much can also make me a fool. There's an old Hokkien phrase, "Kiang De Hou, Mai Kay Kiang" (Being smart is enough, don't act smart). This is something that is applied to almost everywhere in Singapore. I for one, tend to fall into the "act smart" category often. This is not because I try to outshine myself by doing things that I'm not supposed to do... More often than not, it is due to the inquisitive nature that I possess - asking too many unnecessary questions because I am not really sure of certain things that are done.

Some of my friends might feel that I have some wisdom that I can share with them, and to others I have no intellect to communicate with them properly. So what am I? A Wise One or A Fool? You decide.

Love Actually

Was actually chatting with Elise today over the phone and more or less discussed about many things. One of the things that we somehow touched upon was the topic of Love.

I'm sure for those who have read my blog before, what I write about Love in Singapore is mostly negative. In a rather unfair way, I seem to demean the ladies in Singapore about how relationships will go wrong.

Right now, my thoughts for that has more or less changed. In a way, I see things in the whole picture as to how guys and ladies tend to view relationships in the fast paced world of today. It has occured to me that most people (in Singapore) tend to like members of the opposite sex because they possess a particular trait. ie, she is caring, he is cool, etc.

Quoting from Elise, the irony of such affection for a particular trait is that when a breakup occurs, it is due to the same reason as to why you like that person in the first place. From my point of view, I seem to have noticed that in Singapore, every single individual has a "Scorecard".

What is this "Scorecard"? I think it is how a person evaluates the members of the opposite sex. In a manner of speaking, it is like - "He is hardworking, so I'll give him plus points" or "She is a smoker, so I'll give her minus points", etc. The "scorecard" is how much "plus points" a person gets before he/she is considered suitable as a partner. Love has become something else that it originally was, true and free.

Love of today is more like getting the "cream of the crop"; the ones who get more "plus points", or staying far away from people who get all the "minus points". It is no longer true. No trust is given to each other as we are all constantly being evaluated. So as to say, our "market value" will rise or fall based on how we portray ourselves. Love has become more of a materialistic measurement, hence Love of today in Singapore is no longer True.

Loving someone needs no reasons. When a person truly loves another, it just happens just like that. Yet most of the people in Singapore tend to demand for the reason as to - "Why do you like me?" or "What do you see in me?". The question now is, why ask such questions when a person just loves you for what you are?

Loving someone also means accepting the person for what he/she is, no matter what traits they possess. If you love yourself enough, you will know about your own negative points and try to change them yourselves (this is something good). If you change yourself because your loved one complains about certain trait, that isn't love (in a manner of speaking.. but it can also be good, just a matter of personal points of views).

Loving someone is also not about possessing someone. Love is also about freedom, about how much freedom can a couple give to each other without dulling the relationship. It is also an important ingredient to ensure trust is given to your partner (thus creating a good relationship).

Those three points will fall under the same thing - Love is Free.

I told Elise too, that Love also needs Timing and Trust. Timing to do(say) the right things at the right time. Timing to Love (weird as it seems, but it is an important factor), and the things that will happen after certain decisions. Trust is more or less general as without trust, there will be no point in the relationship (since the couple will keep suspecting each other of doing things he/she doesn't like).

So, to sum things up, Love is True and Free as well as needing the important elements of Timing and Trust. Too bad for the people of Singapore. Since most of them can't really experience this kind of love.

Please give comments on my thoughts in my chatterbox. I need to learn how other people think, so just let me know if what I think is wrong. =)