A Series of Unfortunate Events

First was the exercise period that was going on in my camp then was the disappointment in me not being able to really fulfil my dream, and finally not being able to succeed in something that I have planned for a long time.

Exercise period was more or less ok, as it didn't have much hiccups as expected. There is a new store IC in the department that I'm in and he doesn't give much of a friendly impression. Other than that, the exercise mainly took away my private life for the weekdays.

During this time, I was chatting with my friend over the phone on university studies, and found out some disappointing things that will change the whole course of my life. I didn't look at the big picture and so my dream of studying psychology is more or less on hold (that is until I can solve the problem I'm facing).

Yesterday was the first time I took part in a singing competition. It is a competition organised by Partyworld. Unfortunately, I was down with sore throat (thanks to the exercise period), hence I'm already out of the competition. I was really looking forward to participate in the whole event, but too bad I've failed.

Tired legs go nowhere

I'm feeling lost. Mainly because I already lost my goal, my vision of what my future is supposed to be. I'm lost when I'm in the army camp as I no longer feel the drive that I had when I enlisted. So tired of the things that I do in and out of my daily life nowadays (since it has got nothing to do with my at all, from the start of my enlistment), I can't seem to find my purpose anymore.

I'm so tired, so alone. I miss my friends but can't seem to reach out to them anymore (those at JJ especially). I can't have enough time for myself, nor do I have the time to do things that I like (I went to the doc on friday, and thus having an MC, I really did what I wanted to do at home) as and when I really have my weekend breaks.

I'm either trying to find time to meet up with friends or juggling my rest with some other family obligations.

I wonder what's wrong with my life now, can't seem to control it anymore. (Army is not a nice place to be in, but every guy will have to go in (waste time) to serve the 2 years.)

My pessimistic side is surfacing so I think I might need help some time soon bah. Hope to stay sane until the end of the year.