It is over
what is? you ask? haha, well, my previous blog post said it all. that person that i have been holding on for so long, for nothing. sure, it's nothing much, since we've never met. but no matter what, there's a part of me that feels bad, since i'm hurting another person again. maybe some might say it's my fault, some might say it's good for me to be able to leave this stagnant r/s for good. i don't know, but it's really confusing right now.

who did more....?
who did more things to contribute into the r/s? for my part, i can see myself putting in the minimal effort, y? because the effort i put, is alwiz thru actions, i dun like to juz say things and don't mean it. even for sms, i dun even say sweet nothings at all. yet for her, she expects me to do it, though our r/s is more or less "imaginary". yet, though she demands so, she put in effort for the r/s to carry on. things that she won't do normally, she still goes ahead to do. but all i can say is, all the things she's doing, is just to prepare herself to meet me, yet the wear and tear of time came too fast, i simply cannot allow the r/s to stay this way.

cursed?
i'm starting to wonder abt myself, abt the ppl ard me. who seems to be in pain, in torment over r/s matters. my good buddy is down, i'm down, my frens are down too. i have this signature in my hotmail that says "Love is not a crime, yet why does it make us prisoners?" i noticed that this holds true for many ppl, ppl who get into a r/s wif someone, things dun work out, but ends up holding on to a broken r/s until they finally break down. read a blog of one of my frens, abt gambling chips and love (find out which one urself, dun be lazy and visit my frens blogs too), i find that it has some truth in it, but love is not something easy to understand easy to control, it is something yet at the same time is nothing. i wonder if this is a curse or a punishment met out by the gods, but seriously, this makes me wonder what is a relationship about.

never ending story
i'm sure u've heard abt this show, read the book, so on, but for me, i think life on earth is a never ending story. esp. the r/s part. i look ard, and see many couples, yet not all of them are in true love, some are for fun, some are holding on to salvage problems, some are holding on for the sake of holding on. only a small portion of ppl in a r/s are truly in love. and such "happy endings" never end up happy as well, after marriage, there's a chance that they fall out with each other and end up having to divorce each other. so when does this story of hurt, and seperation end? i think it never ends. as long as both parties are headstrong, and both refuses to give in to each other, there's no pt in the r/s at all.

it was always by my hands that hurt was inflicted,
remorse and regretful, yet powerless to stop it.
unable to understand what love is,
the more heartless i become everday.