alot has happened recently. so much that i am beginning to wonder about the complexities of human to human interaction.

being just an individual, is already hard in this day and age, as we are constantly being scrutinised and judged by everything we do. being an individual also means to gain some form of recognition in the society, some form of identity whereby one is no longer alone.

if being an individual is tough, being in a group is tougher. there are many communication skills and inter-relationship skills to consider whilst in a group. and usually, politics will arise from within the group. and very often, the individual who is in the group, is constantly judged by other members, and if the individual strays from what is deemed as "the norm", the individual is scrutinised, isolated, and ignored.

however, nothing beats being in a relationship with someone. because it is a union of two individuals, and these two individuals who has been trying so hard to be good, suddenly end up together, trying to be good to one another. and the couple will most likely be in a group of friends, who knows both of them. and as usual, in a group there will be politics, grouping, and so on.

one fine day, if the couple splits up for any reason, each one of the individual's friends will stand by him/her, and the politics within the group will tend to worsen. so why all the need to be an individual? why all the trouble to get into a group? why all the emotional struggles being in a relationship?

some say, this is life, but life was never meant to be like that.... or is it? even the animal kingdom has their own rules. life always has rules, and this is what makes one alive i guess.

i wonder if any of you are going to understand what i have written, haha. nevertheless, i'm sure it brings out some meaning to some of you.

just today, i went out to watch "The Punisher", quite a good movie, and i kinda like the main character, his tragedy i may never experience, but my feelings are as cold as him, or i think it is.

went out wif damien, and his cousin, and i realised that i have had a very long time crush on his cousin already. and i was like... omg, the feeling's back. (sounds like i'm acting sissy, XD ) but i'll leave it as that, for i still do not think that i'm ready for any relationship. true, i'm weak, i do not want to face the trials of being in a relationship yet. yet, because of what i experienced today, i realised that my life isn't so void, so dark after all.

perhaps it's time to really move on, and be the one i once used to be. the real me.