Questions?

How often do we appear to be lost souls searching for someone or something to complete us? How often do we drift into the unknown and return to lament at what our lives had turned out to be? How long has it been since the last contact with our lost innocent childhood dream?

Unanswered?

There has always been some kind of situations that occur, and there is no way to explain as well as avoid them. However, being human means that there has always been a way to avoid and run away from problems. There had been times where I faced situations that required my heart to rule over my mind, yet instead of trying to follow my heart, I tend to run away from it.

In a person's lifetime, there are many chances that will occur, and very often, it is left ignored. Thus breaking links to a possible future that could have been realised. Chance knocked at my door many times, sometime even to the extent of begging me to take it, but my heart is seemingly unmoved by such a gesture. Perhaps the scar that I have in my heart, has marred me from being able to develope fondness for someone, to like a lady once more.

More Questions?

I know the feeling of developing fondness for somone, I also know that while it is in progress, it is usually unnoticed by the person I like. This is why when I am unsure of my feelings, or if I know that my feelings are not strong, it is not worth to try to express my feelings (something which I have learnt in the past few years). I know how to catch signs of ladies who have a certain fondness for me, yet even knowing, I tend to ignore the feeling altogether.

Irony

Knowing whether a lady is attracted to me has nothing to do with my precognitive abilities, nor my observation skills. Perhaps deep inside me, my feelings tend to sniff out such emotions from the people whom I know has fondness for me. It might be true that I'm not as heartless as I always try to portray as, that I'm actually a person who is capable of feelings to love, but there is always something holding me back.

I'm afraid, scared of being forced into a situation where I might end up as a victim of the r/s (not that the other party won't be, but rather that I'll be tipping the scales a little more). It may sound like I'm selfish and inconsiderate of others' feelings, but I hold true to these words "Once bitten, Twice shy".

I do not know what is expected of me, what I am supposed to do. I am only aware that of the many ways to handle situations, I'm left with two choices. By avoiding or running away from it ( to minimise hurt), or to let nature take it's course and hope nothing bad happens. I do know that until my thoughts are straightened, until I am sure of my own emotions and feelings, I might be still stranded at the point when I was left victimised by my own emotions.

Distant emotions take my life away,
Sought by the powers of Love and Hate.
Whether I would succeed, whether I would fail,
Matters not as much as it should be to you.
Help me recover so that I'll lead you away,
Away from your lonely and hateful world.
Ever just a hope, ever as can be,
Come what may, may we face it truthfully.