Changes

Perhaps you might be wondering about my sudden disappearence act from the net. Maybe you are wondering about the erratic things that I have said or might have done recently. Whatever you think, it may very well be because of the change within me.

I feel that I'm a different person from before, wanting to start everything anew. Though I might not find that any changes might affect the present me now, it has already gained some kind of foothold that I will slowly experience in time to come.

Of the first of things to come, I wish to start my life as a normal human, not as one who has ever lived a life of a netizen. The friends and acquaintances that I have come to know, are not really the kind I want to remember. You might say I'm taking things too hard or what, but what I feel is really as such. Having seen what happened to the people around me and to me, I really can't bring myself to really place any trust in net friends anymore.

Gone with the wind?

My IRC channel has been removed from the list of "registered" channels. I made Q forget it. This of course is because of my decision of not wanting to be online as often already. Some might say my action was not needed, but what I really feel is, if my net friends no longer sides me and listens to what I have to say, I'll just leave everything. What I need, are friends who really listen to me, and can understand me without doubt. I too, can listen and understand, but it depends on what I have been shown by my friends.

If I am shown with something that makes me think of it as such, that must be the intended thing a "friend" might have wanted me to know.

Shock

CMPB sent me a letter asking me to get ready for NS, but I still have some subjects owed to the school. Will have to check my status with the school before making the deferment, if nothing goes wrong, I will be going in next year, rather than this end of year. I'm not really "chickening out" of NS, but if such simple matters can be screwed up by CMPB, imagine what army can do.

FYP handed up, but still not sure of the outcome, pass or fail. I believe in the supervisor's words, as he is not the kind who will break his word. He promised us a pass. If he doesn't do as he says, it will come as a big shock.

I guess I'm just as confused as I was before, but clearer to what is needed for me to survive. Won't mind to change into someone that people hates, in order for me to survive. May be for the good of those around me too.