Difficult Times

In life there's always ups and downs and more often than not, the down times happen more than the up times. I personally feel that the 'up times' are fewer so that we can treasure them more.

Been staying inside camp since sunday and only released today due to an exercise and I felt that it was a very difficult time for me. Things have been piling up in my work and very soon I'll get even more things to do once my working partner goes back to BMT for recourse.

While staying in, I was suddenly tasked to take food for the department - it was out-rationed and therefore everything was 'take-away'. I won't say it was a difficult job, but I was also helping out with the duty of answering calls till the wee hours of the morning. That's where the feeling of being taken for granted arise.

Everyone was thinking that it was my sole responsibility to take the food for them no matter how tired I was or how busy I was. Lets face it, although there are delegations, there are times whereby the person doing the job is totally unable to fulfil the task requirements and therefore is unable to perform the task everytime. In a department, it is crucial for every individual to be nice to one another and at least share the workload when one can't handle.

No, not in my department. It is so segregated in terms of job scope that it somehow seems very difficult for there to be a chance for anyone to help out in case one of them can't do the job for that moment. Not that it is wrong, but the department isn't very big and it is expected of us to know a little of what goes on in other stores.

I was up almost 19+ hours of the day for the few days in camp and collection of breakfast is almost impossible since most of the 'activation' came during the wee hours of the night (if my department doesn't value sleep, I have nothing else to say) and by the time I manage to get my rest, I'm already half dead. I do try my best to get lunch and dinner for everyone on time though.

Acknowledgement

So far, only my officers has given me the acknowledgements of performing my tasks during the exercise period. Though it may seem like nothing to most, it is quite important to me. Praising other people may seem like something that's not worth doing, but certain people react to praises in very positive ways - like me. The rest of my department only knew how to demand from me and take me for granted, not a word of thanks came from them, only sarcasm.

The acknowledgement of my efforts by my officers managed to spur me on to work for the department but the counter-force given by the rest of the department doesn't give me enough motivation to work as hard. I wonder if any of you felt like this before.

Perhaps it is to fulfil my ego (because I'm a Leo?), or maybe it is just that I'm still immature (like a child maybe?), but I really do take acknowledgements very seriously. Praise me for doing things can make me work harder, or can even make me happy for that day. Acknowledge that I have made a significance in your life or that I am significant in your life, I'll feel that my efforts in being there for you was not done in vain. I treat my friends nice, but I don't require them to treat me nice all the way too, all I need is the proper acknowledgements and I'll make sure the friendship can last.

Sin

I have sinned again, my anger is getting out of hand again. I have gained another sin, gluttony. I wonder why I commit sin so often, is it because I'm human? Please, give me a sign, and help me.