Moving on...

Guess most of you don't know about it yet... I'm single and available (though at the moment, not available) already. It was a long relationship, about 3 years.... and also my second. I would say I did enjoy her company for a while, but there are things that are quite incompatible between us (at least for me) that made me finalise my decision.

I met her... by accident on Saturday, because I went for an outing that was posted in the forums (and I didn't check the thread). I only knew about it only when I was nearing the destination, so I decided to go ahead anyways.

I didn't want to see her, so I stuck to the room I was in. I ended up answering a phone call and went out of the room, and there she was looking at me. Both of us were feeling awkward, but I tried my best to muster a smile at her.....

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Actually, I do feel bad for this prolonged painful relationship, because I was the one who initiated the last patch back last year. All the malicious posts in her blog can be directed at me, but in the end, I do know it is due to disappointment as well as anger.

I know I did promise her lots of things, but also, I was pondering on how she handled things, that's why I decided not to fulfil those promises.

Imagine this, my blog is being read by her, her friends and her colleagues. That is one of the main reasons why I cannot post any personal things in my blog prior to my blog name change (what is the purpose of the blog when people who are not your friends are reading it and feeding feedback and information to the one you intend to hide from?)

That is not the full extent of her abilities of using technology to stalk me.

I mean, she is nice to the one she is attached to, but tends to become very possessive. However, when the crack in the relationship appears, she does nothing to salvage the crack, but does all other things to make it worsen - stalking, reading hp messages, trying to log into the other half's email, etc.

For the record, I have told her that I wanted to leave her since a long time ago, but she didn't want to leave me at all, stating all sorts of reasons to make me stay (and I did, cause I was too soft hearted). So what must guys do when girls like her refuse to break-up? The only way is to be as jerk like as possible, doing all sorts of things to disappoint her further.

I'm not proud of what I have done, but I had to do so, in order to leave her for good. Which is why I can understand her words of malice in her blog.

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I left because I know that she is not the type of woman that I want to marry.
I left because I didn't want to waste her time anymore.
I left because I know my heart can no longer love her anymore.

It isn't because I don't love you, that's why I left.
It is because I know I will never be the one to bring you happiness.
I hope there will be someone who will be there for you, to take care of you,
for I will never be able to do so.
Thank you for the times that we have shared...
All those happy times, and sad times...
I love you still, but it is just that I know myself too well,
I can't commit unless I have career and have enough money,
That is why I will never be able to marry until I have a stable life as an individual.
I hope you are not hurt too deeply by what I have done,
For I do feel the hurt too, in my heart.

Sorry, my love.... Elise Tan....