ok, my previous posting was a rant, seriously a rant.

my mood somehow swung to the extreme when i was like all fiery the other day. but when it was vesak day (2nd june) my mood swung back into motion. the whole of the day i ate mainly vegetables, and felt more peaceful (perhaps a kind of psychological effect).

somehow i made a decision already, a decision not to fall in love at all. and i realise that this is not the protect the one who shall be with me (cause i've alwiz thought i'd be a bad guy in any r/s), rather, i'm protecting myself from the hurt that might be inflicted upon me in a new r/s.

i'm weak, yes, that's true, i realise that my weakness as a guy, somehow irks ppl so much that i become their enemies, and also how some ppl can just belittle me because of my weakness. but i've alwiz noticed that each step i take backwards, there is lesser trouble, there's more room for more ppl in my life, rather than just some ppl who juz tends to come and go.

there's alwiz a kind of trend when ppl post in their blogs lately, posting song lyrics or posting interesting anecdotes, or quotes they see somewhere. some might even write poems (like what i do) and so on. but is this a sign of fitting in? or trying to be an individual? i have kinda forgotten whether i'm living as an individual, or living as part of a whole community of ppl.

yeah, my sec sch buddy has got a gf, and it was like so sudden, i haven't heard from him abt how it happened, but i sorta expected that it was coming. speaking of buddy, i have 2 buddies who were by my side since sec sch, and one very very close buddy whom i have got to know in poly. all in all, i really thank all 3 of my buddies, no matter what, the times we spend together, i will alwiz treasure it. and the most impt thing is, no matter what, i hope our brotherhood would last forever.

since there's a tinge of nostalgia in the air for me right now, u guessed it, a poem.

What seems within our grasp, never seems close enough.
What seems closest to us, always has a distance.
What seems dearest to us, shall part us someday.
Yet I hold on to these memories of being able to grab hold of time.
The time when we played together, time stood still for us.
The time when a family gathering occurs, time was never-ending.
The time when i held my ex's body close to mine, time seemed to sneak away.