Mistakes

We all make our mistakes in life. Everyone has to fall, and through falling we gain experience, learn to stand up and move on. No one can prevent any mistakes from happening, nor make the mistakes from happening any faster. If it was meant to be, it was made to be.

What about mistakes that was caused by misunderstanding? We often leave out the very details of how one reacted according to certain circumstances, on what it could have meant. When misunderstanding occurs between two people, it is best that only these two people talk it out, rather than rely on a third party. The message that could have gotten across to the other party may sometimes be misintepreted and conveyed wrongly.

Quick Stir-fry

Life is about ups and downs, and to make life more enjoyable, we have to add in certain ingredients. Which of the ingredients are needed? For me, I'd like to choose spice, sugar, salt, and lime. My life is already bitter, so I need salt to improve the overall mood of my life, lime to make sure I am able to take anything that comes to me, be it insults or hurt. Sugar is needed for me to be able to feel for people, the sweetness that comes from the good that I do. Spice, this one I do not really need at the moment, but is quite important to me. It is something that I have been searching for, the feeling of being loved and of course, the feeling of loving someone.

When all these ingredients add up, I can see my life being very different from what I am leading now. A life that is filled with hope, happiness, togetherness and life itself. I need those now, yet I know I can't get any of those stir-fried fast enough for any of those to happen to me.

I tried. I fell. Amidst it all, I got up and moved on while searching for the right lady to let me shower my love upon. I do not understand myself, on why I seek such emotions when I can't even like myself the way I am supposed to be. I'm not saying that I dislike myself, more of, not liking myself enough (more on the ego thing I guess).

Game Master

The feeling of controlling something is often good, especially so in games. Sometimes people with power will come around to control the way things are to be run, or control the weaker populace for personal gain.

I do not understand how does one gain pleasure at controlling another person, to make him/her do your bidding. I could do it if I wanted to, yet it violates my thinking that I have been imposing upon myself for the past 4 years. It is nowhere near religious, yet it has strong roots within certain teachings from more common religions.

If controlling someone is that much fun, how about controlling the way things are to be? I picture that as a game of chess, whereby all other people are just the pawns on the board, and there is only one game master controlling the movements, the feelings and so on. It could be the sort of game played by gods when they have too much time to spend (or at least when they think the world needed a new hero). However, if this sort of game is controlled by people, or at least a person, does he/she have the right to do so?

I personally think control over another is not the way of doing things, even if the end result could end up in your favour. Either it happens, or it doesn't, that's the way of the nature.

Concealment

Sometimes if people hide behind their shell for too long, they will tend to keep things to themselves so much, that they will never fulfill what they hope for the most. I thank one of my friends who has succeeded in making me see the light of things, making me come out of my shell (you know who you are). I am now braver, I dare to follow my feelings, my instincts. Those are the ones I have deserted 4 years ago after my major fall.

If you have something you like, or at least someone you like, do not hesitate to make the move yourself, or at least make yourself known. Falling is not fun, but the experience of falling is worthwhile. If you never try, you can never find the feeling that you have wanted to find at all. Do not hide behind your shell, thinking that as long as you stay low-key, you'd continue to be safe.