Paths. Which one?

Yes its me wondering which path to take again. Being Mr. Goody-Good-For-Nothing-Two-Shoes or just being a person that is going to be hated by many people. I'm still a lost soul in this world of treachery and deceit where there isn't a human who will be true to you without hurting you.

I was just told by one of my good friends, I'm just too nice to everyone. Maybe that's why my life is always being in a cycle of suffering (to which I have tried to avoid, so I didn't suffer much this time round).

My previous post was about my feelings on my life of today. Needless to say, my life is as screwed up as it already was from the beginning. Not much difference except the people who came briefly into my life are different.

Ghost in the Shell

Wonder if any of you read the manga or watched the anime (movies so far) of G.I.T.S. (Ghost in the Shell) yet. Yet even though what I might say has got nothing much to do with GITS, it is however relevant.

Like most humans I possess a body, mind and soul. Yet the body is like a shell (buddhist teachings) and the only true thing that lives is the soul. The body is only a container to hold the soul until we have understood the meaning of life and attained Nirvana. My mind is actually working and at peace (from the lack of usage XD) so it is still pretty alright.

However, I feel pretty much different from most people nowadays. It is as though my body and soul is starting to fall out of sync. I doubt that I already have grasped the meaning of life or whatnots, nor have I got the ability to change things in this world in my lifetime. Which is precisely why I feel my very existence is very uncalled for.

There's no one for me to protect except my parents and my brother. There's no one to protect me and comfort me (women are strong too). I feel powerless most of the time because I lack motivation (things that my family can't give). I feel like an idiot most of the time too for giving in too easily to people around me (I just can't learn to say no until things start to turn bad).