Purpose

Everyone and everything in this world has a purpose.

Anyone who lives and who are living always search for a purpose in life.

However, not everyone is able to fulfil that purpose; the very answer to "why do we live?"

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My purpose in life is to help people. True...

Yet beyond helping people, there is always a fine line where people always tend to tread upon - to make use of me and take me for granted.

I'm sick and tired of it. I just want people to understand that all I do is show my goodwill to them.

"Nice guys finish last." A phrase often heard by many people, but a phrase that never seems to come true for me. People only tend to look at the contributions by an individual after he or she has voiced out or had done major things to be noticed. Its as though people are born naturally blind to the fact that there are good people around!

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Sometimes I really wonder, "is it worth it to be nice all the time?" More often than not, the thought would be yes. Yet unfortunately in a highly materialistic and unfeeling society such as Singapore (even though TPB keeps saying that we are friendly...), being nice will directly mean that you are a very DISTINCT target board that everyone can throw arrows at. It also means that your life will be filled with so much misery that people will just use you as a "burden dump "(like a rubbish dump...).

Disheartened.

Show & Tell

I hate people who have agenda against me and keep it hidden. Even if the agenda is not against me, but if I'm part of it, I would also like to be told.

What's so difficult about telling someone the truth? What's so difficult about telling someone off? If one dares to talk behind the back or have hidden agenda against me, one must dare to tell it to me straight.

I don't like playing politics, its a game for people with too much time in their hands. Just show and tell, and don't leave me guessing.

I may be able to mind read or guess accurately sometimes, but that doesn't mean that I can understand anyone at anytime. Besides, its not for granted that one will know what the other person thinks (even though they MAY have such experiences before).

If you think that there's a problem with me, just shoot. It helps me improve on myself if I really am that bad in that particular department OR it helps me to explain to you the rational of why I behave as such.

I believe my anger has already been tamed for a long time and I have not flared up as much as when I was in poly. But everyone has limits, and when one is pushed beyond the limits, there will be times when things turn ugly. Before that happens, please be more automatic.

Sleeping My Soul Away

How I'd wish I'd be asleep forever,
Leaving all my burdens to sever,
Away from my aching shoulders,
Like the problems never appeared.

How I'd wish I'd be sleeping in deep slumber,
With snores that boom like thunder asunder,
Forgetting all the hurt I suffered,
Licking my wounds under the covers.

How I'd wish I'd sleep my soul away,
Throwing my life aside and to pray,
That if I awaken I won't get stuck this way,
And move on from these crazy days.